By Dan Mackie
For the Valley News
When I was in college my hair was darker than dark chocolate, but even then, in the full blush of youth, occasional white hairs popped up, like a rare dandelion on a prized lawn.
“Is that a white hair?” a friend would ask. “It is! You’re going gray!” They were amazed that my 20-year-old dome was skipping ahead to middle age and beyond.
It didn’t bother me. Up to a certain point — you can imagine what that point is — age isn’t a worry for me. Fleeting youth wasn’t a big deal either. Never a star athlete, never a Big Man on Campus, I was not giving up all that much.
Though I might turn gray I would likely have “a good head of hair,” a phrase my mother spoke in an admiring tone. A good head of hair seemed prestigious, like a Cadillac or a fine suit. It was a sign of virility, perhaps, although virility wouldn’t have been spoken of in our household.
The evidence for my follicular optimism was my father, who similarly sprouted touches of gray in his 20s, and whose mane remained full almost throughout his life. One of his brothers had a receding hairline in a full state of retreat, but most Mackies held on to their hair. Only in his last years did my father’s hair thin and turn slightly yellow, as if he’d consumed too much butter.
Among the Irish with piercing blue eyes the blue and gray and youthful skin can be dazzling. Alas, my salt-and-pepper years haven’t produced the same effect. If Hollywood called, it wouldn’t be looking for a leading man. I’d be an extra, someone concrete would fall on in an earthquake movie.
In writing this piece, I right-clicked on the word gray to seek a synonym. Microsoft Word exhibited awful ageism, suggesting “old, older, hoary, ancient, dreary, depressing.” Why not just go for “old, older, dead?”
As a baby boomer, I imagine that anything we are involved in will transform all trends, even aging. Gray is the new black! Dentures are sexy! Someday, electric scooter races!
But we have role models for our gray expectations. George Clooney and Richard Gere are far from hoary, even with their galloping gray. Singer Emmy Lou Harris has looked neither ancient nor dreary, despite hair as light as angel’s wings. Arlo Guthrie from the ’60s (Alice’s Restaurant) gives a whole new look to the 60s. Increasingly, gray-haired beauties are showing up on TV commercials, although the fact that they serve as Viagra eye candy gives pause.
The Upper Valley trends to mature colors, I have noticed. Ample waves of gray flow across the audience at the Nugget Theater and Hopkins Center in Hanover. “Hah, look at all these grayhairs,’’ I have sometimes scoffed to myself, before I remember that I am not far behind. I’m not sure what to make of gray hippie hair (forever young?), but what the heck: never trust anyone under 50.
I’m very much a hair libertarian: color yours if you wish, or embrace the silver. There was a time when I was critical of men who touched up their hair, but that was before white started showing up in my eyebrows, something that has tested my resolve. My only advice is that if you are going to do it, do it well. I recall one fellow who looked like he dyed his hair in junkyard waste oil, producing a color that had elements of rust, old seat stuffing, and ash tray leavings.
As for women, I have little hair advice. Gray can look elegant or devil-may-care, but groovy is a stretch. Concerning colors, I don’t much like Popsicle Orange or Crazy Lady Purple. Other than that, do whatever feels natural, or unnatural, whichever you prefer.
Although this column rarely offers anything resembling research, there are some actual facts to learn (and likely forget) about graying. A New York Times article provided some perspective on the topic.
According to the Times, sometimes called “The Old Gray Lady,” The Journal of Investigative Dermatology reported a few years ago that “Whites tend to gray first, often as early as their mid-30s, followed by Asians and then Africans. About half of 50-year-olds are at least 50 percent gray.” Apparently, I just had a head start.
Also in the Times: “A major study of 20,000 men and women in Copenhagen looked for any links between heart-disease mortality and physical signs of aging like gray hair, baldness and facial wrinkles. They found none. ‘People with premature graying of the hair don’t die any sooner than anybody else,’ said Dr. Leo M. Cooney, professor and chief of geriatrics at Yale University School of Medicine. ‘I think the study shows that gray hair has something to with your genetics and very little to do with premature aging.’ ”
I could blame my father for my graying hair, but that seems unfair since he got the grays from his parents, who got them from their parents, going back to the gray dawn of time. As for my mother, she went blonde in her later years, so who knows?
I do wish that gray meant wisdom. I have a little of that, but less than my hair might suggest.
The writer lives in West Lebanon. He can be reached at dan.mackie@yahoo.com.